The Best (And Worst) Lubricants For Sex In Menopause
Great Sex After 50: Part 3

Here's what you'll find in this video and blog post.  I'm showing you how to use topical treatments to help with vaginal dryness during & after menopause... 

  1. The first step is avoiding harsh, foaming, stripping soaps that disrupt the delicate pH and natural moisture and elasticity of the vaginal area that are so necessary for comfortable sex in menopause and beyond
  2. Then choose the best of these three types of lube/moisturizer to keep sex in menopause as fun and comfortable as ever.  We’re looking at. the pros, cons, and what to look out for in each category.
  3. We’re also going to talk about topical hormones - how to choose and and WHEN they fit into your strategy for great sex during and after menopause

Just click to watch the video for all the details or read the blog post for the highlights:

Watch the rest of the videos in this series

Great Sex After 50 Part 1: What is vaginal dryness, and how to treat it's non-estrogenic causes.

Great Sex After 50 Part 2: How to boost estrogen naturally with diet, lifestyle, and supplements before, during, and after (yes after) menopause -  to save your sex life from menopause dryness

Great Sex After 50 Part 3: How to treat vaginal dryness topically: Lubes, moisturizers, & topical hormones

Great Sex After 50 Part 4: Guest expert Clinical Sexologist & Intimacy Coach Jane Steckbeck joins me and shares her best tips, strategies, & tools on vaginal dryness, incontinence, pain with intercourse, and much more. 

Great Sex After 50 Part 5: Where did your libido go and how to get it back, a Tonic Herbalists perspective & tips.

Links Mentioned in the Video

Menopause Basics Facebook Group

The menopausal woman's roadmap is no longer available, but I can help you get started - click the buttons below for help finding: 

Category #1: Silicone-Based Lubricants

These are made from petroleum and are not friendly to your cells.  I recommend avoiding this category.

Category 2: Water-Based Lubricants

Pros: Condom friendly, light and non-greasy.  Can make excellent lubricants and moisturizers

Cons:  Water based formulas require significant preservatives, and often the preservatives used are not friendly to the local area. 

They often have ingredients added that disrupt the pH and microbiome of the area.

They often have high osmolality ingredients that pull moisture out of the surrounding cells creating long-term dryness and thinning and weakening of the tissues (the details are ALL in the video!)

Be sure to look for organic ingredients, as pesticides are estrogen disruptors. 

Ingredients To Avoid In Water Based Lubricants:

Preservatives like parabens and phenoxyethanol

Moisture-sucking, highly processed ingredients like glycerine, propylene glycol, & carrageenan, and avoid all sugars. 

Artificial fragrances or other chemicals including chlorhexidine

Ingredients To Look for In Water Based Lubricants:

Aloe vera and food-based preservatives like like potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate.

Check out this blog for the ingredients to avoid in water-based lubes during menopuase

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Category #3: Oil-Based Moisturizers & Lubricants

Pros: Great slipperiness and long-term moisture.

Can easily be combined with pure essential oils that stimulate local estrogen receptors and the brain to increase natural lubrication

Cons: Not latex condom friendly.  

Some oils are safe to use, some are not.  There are many more details in the video but my favorites are organic virgin coconut oil, jojoba oil, and cacao butter. 

Be sure to look for organic ingredients, as pesticides are estrogen disruptors. 

Topical Hormones

Over the counter hormone creams can be really helpful when just a moisturizer isn’t enough.  

(Be sure to watch the next video in this series, my interview with guest expert Jane Steckbeck for details on how to use vaginal moisturizers most effectively before you give up on them.)

There are some new over-the-counter topical hormone creams on the market today like the Amata creams by Dr Christiane Northrup with a powerful plant phytoestrogen and the Julva cream by Dr Anna Cabeca with DHEA.  I love both these doctors, and these are good options and work for some women, but I believe they also contain either glycerine or  sugars,  ingredients I don't love.

Prescription estrogen creams can be useful if you have advanced dryness with loss of elasticity (called atrophy.)  These are effective for many women, but again are not a complete solution!  You want to combine these with the best moisturizers, lubes, and the right diet, lifestyle, and supplements to improve your vaginal health and natural vaginal lubrication from the inside out at the same time. 

Action Steps

Always start with the right diet, giving your body the building blocks of estrogen and natural lubrication.  The free download below, the Menopausal Woman's Roadmap will get you started with this TODAY. 

Then add in the right lifestyle to promote long-term moisture and elasticity.  (See video 2 in this series for details.) 

Then - after you have those internal factors working for you - add in the type of topical treatment that works best for you.

Avoid silicone-based lubes

Read the labels on all water-based lubes and look for aloe vera-based formulas that use only food-grade preservatives and don’t have added artificial fragrances, glycerine, or sugar (like the ones on or

If you don’t need your lube to be condom friendly, or you’re just looking for a moisturizer, try and oil-based formula with virgin coconut, pure jojoba, or cocoa butter (or all three.)  Look for formulas with appropriately diluted, pure essential oils (like the ones on and avoid formulas with added artificial fragrances or chemical preservatives.

If just lubes and moisturizers aren’t enough, consider topical hormones with plant based estrogens, DHEA, or for severe dryness, prescription creams with estrogen.

lubricants for menopause
menopausal vaginal dryness lubricants

In this video blog I break down the 3 types of lube - find out which one is right for you during & after menopause (and why)

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Video Highlights 

Make sure you didn't miss anything big...

1:12 what is the vaginal “ecosystem”
1:59 things to avoid disrupting the natural pH and microbiome of the vagina
3:28 the 3 different kinds of vaginal lubricants
3:56 the silicone based lubes
4:33 water and glycerin based lubricants and why you want to avoid
6:08 what is something called OSMOLALITY in Glycerin

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